Working with Teens

Disciplining a child is easiest when they are young but time consuming when they are older.  Little ones need toys, but teens need conversation.

See a well-behaved teen-ager?  Their roots of discipline go back to when they were very small.

The foolish parent laughs at their young child’s naughtiness.  They will soon be screaming in rage at teen age naughtiness.

Just because a teen “should know better” does not mean he does.  Discipline, not age, brings knowledge of good conduct.

When a parent preaches right then does wrong, the teen rebels.

When a parent is inconsistent with their rules and consequences, the teen rebels.

When a parent is too tolerant and gives too many liberties, the teen rebels.

When a parent fails to be a proper authority figure, the teen rebels.

When a parent does not give loving attention, the teen rebels.

Giving in to your teen’s demands and complaints will not guarantee peace or appreciation.  Like any spoiled child, they will turn on you and discount all you have done for them.

Raise your children with loving, consistent discipline, and they will consistently love you.

Love Truth

You can know you love the truth if you:

• Do not defend yourself when you are proved wrong, but instead …
• Take complete responsibility for your actions.
• Hang around people who behave themselves (a sign of loving truth).
• Are willing to make hard decisions for the truth.
• Are willing to stand alone for the truth.

You can know if you do not love the truth because you:

• Are constantly making excuses, justifications for your behavior, or …
• Simply ignore anything or anyone that challenges your decisions, lifestyle, etc.
• Blame others for your misfortunes and mistakes.
• Are attracted to people who have a philosophy of total tolerance.
• Try so hard to explain away moral absolutes, uncompromising justice, and the existence of God.

A Decision Checklist

Before signing on that dotted line, making that promise, or volunteering for that program, there are certain things you need to ask yourself.

• Have I prayed about this, or does this fit in to the will of God for my life?
• Have I thought this through?
• Am I ready and willing to stand behind my decision?
• Is this the best thing for me or am I just caving in to intimidation?
• Can I afford or follow through with this?
• What are the long term implications of this decision?
• Am I really willing to make the inevitable sacrifice for this?

Focus During Opposition

One event that sets the wise apart from the unwise is the time of opposition.  If you live by your emotions, you will fail and do things you will regret later.  However, if you exercise faith, insist on what is true, and realize certain principles, you will find yourself a winner in the end.

• Silence is often the best response to an opponents statements.  By not responding to reckless insults and power-struggle challenges, you reveal to everyone the direction from which the real trouble is coming.
• When in a heated discussion: Keep to the facts, admit mistakes and oversights, and recognize when your opponent is right; then you will have a clear head for the truth and the respect of all who overhear your debate.
• Sometimes you cannot settle matters and compromise is out of the question.  When you have reached that point, stop arguing and follow through with what must be done.
• As Jesus taught, treat your opponents with civility: deal politely with them when you see them, never do spiteful deeds or make nasty comments to justify yourself, do not back down from what is right yet always leave the situation unlocked just in case of restoration.
• Trust in the Lord and bring your case to Him.  If you are right He will ultimately justify you, if you are wrong He will mercifully let you know; but above all, never develop bitterness.  Trust and move on.

Know the Wicked Heart

Burying your head in the sand won’t do you any good.  Being honest, observant, and quick-witted will save you from wicked people and preserve your prosperity.  Don’t be a victim, be a victor, my friend.  You can avoid the traps and vice in this life and be an overcomer for the next.  This is the wisdom of Christ Jesus.

• Do not be naive, believing every story or pitch of a stranger, no matter how innocent they seem.  Before committing to an action, investigate their character.  You may save your very life.
• Because they do not practice their harmful ways all the time, you may find the wicked looking, sounding, and behaving decently.  But when you become the victim of their schemes or interfere with them, you suddenly realize their true motives.
• There are many in this world who will not respond to reason or kind gestures.  They will not abandon their pet sins even if it means severe punishment.  So don’t foolishly attribute your goodness to them.
• When wicked people turn to righteousness, many rejoice; but when the righteous turn to wrong doing, ruin and sorrow set in.
• Sinners are planning their next naughty deed even as they lie on their bed, fortifying themselves with excuses ahead of time.
• The temptations of sin are so subtle that even an experienced saint can become careless and fall into its motions.  Keep being perceptive about everything you do, and you will stay safe.
• Tools, though brand new, will quickly rust when left out in the open; and so it is with sin.  It will change a friend into a stranger, and a good behaving person into a monstrous rebel.  Do not be surprised by how quickly a backslidden heart grows hard.

I am writing this to you because your own politeness and generousity can, at times, become a weakness and calloused people can take advantage of you.  I am also writing this so that you will not have unrealistic expectations from those who do not follow God as do you.  Jesus taught, “Be wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.”

Testing

Bridges are tested for weight, cars are tested for speed, but the Lord tests people for character.

Little compromises condition you to make a big one.

A wise person welcomes testing of his skills, his work, and his character; a fool gets offended at the very idea.

The depth of one’s loyalty, love, and leadership can only be discovered under pressure.

One who has nothing to hide is fearless and has peace; but hidden sins will always surface and shame the guilty.

Cooperate with Him

This is going to sound simple, and it is.  But you need to be reminded, dear friend, always reminded.

There is a God in Heaven who works on Earth, and through Christ Jesus He is working on you: so cooperate.  Do not fight against His wishes.  Do not walk opposite His pull.  For your own good: cooperate.

You might think you have better ideas than God, but you do not know as He knows.  You might think there is more fun, more gain, more life to be had outside His covenant; but you do not live as He lives.  You know only what you see in your little world, only what your limited experience and exposure have brought you.  And just ask the old person.  They will tell you: You live only for a moment, life is so short.  But God is eternal.  He has always been around, and He knows everything.  What is more, He cares for you.  He is eager to help you — if you just cooperate.

Cooperation does not mean shutting down and become robotic, but it does mean admitting that you are small and God is big; that you are all too often wrong while God is always, always right.  It means trusting what God has revealed about life, that His do’s and don’ts are really for the best.

Don’t be like the rest of the world, fools falling into their own pits.  Cooperate with the Maker of Heaven and Earth.  You won’t be sorry you did.

Neighbor Behavior

If you want to live peaceably, then respect your neighbors’ privacy and mind what you do in their sight and hearing.

Happy neighbors are as valuable to your home as the amenities that fill it.

Greet a neighbor with kind words and they will extend their services to you; help a neighbor and you will make a friend.

The person who is obnoxious and rowdy always acts surprised when the police show up at his door.  He blames his neighbors for not ignoring him and says, “They are all snobs.”  How blind!

Even if you are poor, keep your home clean and tidy, and you will win the same respect from your neighbors as do the rich.

Before beginning a building project at your home, make sure you can afford to finish it.  Otherwise, your neighbors will label you as a fool and despise the sight of your unfinished task.

Help the unfortunate next door, and the Lord put a fence around your home; give the poor substance, and the Lord will add to your bank account.

Advantage

A lazy person waits until they are forced to fulfill their obligations; but a perceptive person wins the advantages of preparation.

He who sleeps and plays as a vocation will earn loss and worry as a paycheck.

Sleep is best enjoyed by those who have work to wake up to.

Push yourself and others will pull you into promotion.  Be hard on yourself and your tasks will get easier.

A lazy person constantly complains even about what he has; but the hard worker, though having little, is content, cherishing and caring for what he has purchased.

Money hates a fool; it departs from him as soon as he gets it.

Observations of Parenting

Spoiled children grow to hate their parents.  Regardless of all the sacrifices and special efforts made for them, they find plenty reasons for constant complaining and fighting.  They will continue to be a source of heartache long after they leave home.

Happy children are disciplined, hard working, and respectful.  Their investments into a family make them feel important and useful.

Young children left to make their own decisions will soon become the household tyrant; and when they are grown, they will be as unbendable as an old oak and their lack of training will be the cause of many wrong decisions.

The parents of a spoiled child are constantly making excuses, but the only ones they are fooling are themselves.

People will smile, even laugh, at your child’s unruly behavior; but when they leave your company, they will say to each other, “What a brat!”

While children are at home, they may complain about work; but keep giving them chores.  When they are older they will find that they are self-motivated, and then come and thank you for great training.

An obedient child will continue to be a blessing to his parents long after he has left home.  He will be even more cooperative without your authority than he was under it.